River's End
by bluevestige
Summary: Eren and Levi reincarnated as brothers. They were in love. That was all there was to it.


_My dear brother._

For as long as Levi could remember, he had always been chasing after that back.

* * *

Eren's first word was 'Levi,' or at least, a variation of it because his tongue couldn't grasp the syllables very well. The first time Eren said his name, Levi had felt something struck within him; a deep hidden memory perhaps, he wasn't sure, but at that moment, he felt that protecting Eren was the most important thing in the world.

When Eren was about three, he was able to recognize letters and some words because Levi had put them on flash cards and taught them to him.

Once, Levi's class had a fieldtrip to an art museum, and that night, he was inspired by one of the paintings to make another word card for Eren.

"Titan!" Eren said with such clarity and such fever that Levi jumped. "Titan!" Eren cried out once more, smacking his hands on the ground excitedly.

"Yeah." Levi felt that strange stirring in his chest again, the same one he felt when Eren first said his name. "That's good, Eren."

* * *

The winter following was a bad one. The heater in their small apartment broke, and they didn't have the money to get it fixed.

It was a rough year for the town since the chemical company and the car company went bankrupt. Grisha, along with 60% of the town, found himself jobless, and Carla found herself working odd jobs to keep the family fed.

With the future of the economy grim and the thoughts of their parents even grimmer, Levi did what he could and watched Eren, who was nearly five at the time and didn't quite understand why father was sitting in a rocking chair, staring listlessly at the snow outside without a word, not even when mother came home and gave him a greeting that wouldn't be answered, not even when she asked him to join them at the table for dinner, not even when they all huddled to sleep on a mattress in front of the fireplace in the living room, stacked with four layers of blankets and a quilt from Grandmother who had lived once with them but luckily passed away last year so she wouldn't have to see her son in pieces.

Eren lay comfortably between Carla and Levi, but he had an unusual attachment to Levi ever since he was a baby, so he snuggled against Levi's chest. Carla ruffled his head gently, and Eren smiled happily, not noticing the way Levi did how Mother's hands had roughened with chemicals and cheap soap. Levi didn't comment on it. There was a fragile balance that he didn't want to break.

"I like how Levi is home all the time now," Eren mumbled into Levi's chest.

"It's only for a few snow days," Levi said. "Then I have to go back to school."

"School?" Eren said, tilting his head. "I want to go to school with you!"

"You'll go to kindergarten next year," Levi said, but saw how his mother turned pale, probably at the thought that they couldn't afford the kindergarten fees. He backtracked. "If you want, I could teach you how to read more difficult books instead."

"I want Levi to teach me!" Eren's interest in school dissipated as quickly as it came.

"Alright."

Levi knew that his mother would have to keep sending Eren to Aunt Sarah while she worked and Levi was at school. Levi looked at his father and thought he felt something close to hatred.

"No, Levi," his mother said, and Levi looked away in shame. He tried not to think that way, he really did.

Levi was shocked when he felt a pair of lips touched his forehead gently, the way Mother used to do when he was upset. He stared at Eren, stunned as Eren said, "Does that make it better?"

"Yeah," Levi said, pulling Eren into a hug and taking in the warmth of his childlike kindness. "A lot better."

Eren grinned. When Levi pulled away, he curled his tiny fingers around Levi's hand as reassurance.

Carla smiled, the lines around her tired eyes wrinkled with amusement. For a moment, she looked much younger. "He's going to develop such a brother complex when he becomes older."

"It really can't get worse than this," Levi mumbled, but if he was honest with himself, his own brother complex was even bigger than Eren's.

Carla chuckled tiredly. "It's alright. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm glad that you two are so close, especially through these hard times."

Levi gently swept Eren's bangs from his forehead. Eren's eyes were drooping, and Levi pulled him against his chest. Eren was still young; his cheeks were still babyish round; his smiles were still free from worries even though they were going through rough times. As the chilly night settled in, Levi closed his eyes and swore that he was going to protect his little brother at all cost.

In these times of uncertainty, the only thing that remained certain was Eren's hand in his.

* * *

There were hard times.

Aunt Sarah opened the door and ushered them all in. "Keep all your coats here. Don't trail water into the house." She had said this every time they came, as if they would bring melted snow in purposely to ruin her expensive carpets. She watched Levi closely like a hawk, and Levi didn't know what problem she had with him. It wasn't like he was obligated to smile in front of her all the time.

 _He's a very unpleasant boy_ , she once told his mother. Levi eased himself out of his winter gears without meeting her eyes, keeping his grip on his backpack which had his and Eren's lunch for the day.

"Thank you, Sarah, for agreeing to watch the kids today," Carla said, helping a sleepy Eren out of his coat. "I didn't expect that they would call me in for a weekend shift," Carla smiled, but Aunt Sarah's gaze remained stern.

"Why does one more day matter? You always dump Eren here anyway."

"I got him, mom," Levi took over when Carla fumbled with the old jacket zipper that got stuck. At the corner of his eye, Levi could see Aunt Sarah's disapproving look.

"Does Grisha have a job yet?" Aunt Sarah's voice was sharp. She asked the same thing every day they came to her house, which was effectively every day of the week except for the weekend.

"Not yet," Carla said. "He's trying." Her smile became strained.

"Well he's not trying hard enough." Aunt Sarah crossed her arms. "And Eren has to start kindergarten next year. Have you even thought about that?"

"I have, yes," Carla kept her voice gentle, even though Levi could sense that she was growing upset. "Actually, I was thinking of having Eren go straight to first grade without kindergarten."

"Well who's going to watch him when you're not home?" Aunt Sarah's tone implied that no, it wasn't going to be her, and Levi knew that his mother had planned to ask her to watch Eren for another year, with pay of course, like she had been doing for this past year. Aunt Sarah was father's distant cousin, and she was the only one who lived close enough for Carla to ask for this favor.

"I'll think of something," Carla looked away.

Aunt Sarah shook her head. "You need to get a grip on your life, Carla."

"I will try."

"Well, it's not good enough," Aunt Sarah turned sharply to Levi and Eren. Eren, luckily, was half-asleep and didn't notice.

"Just look at your children, Carla. They're filthy." With this, Aunt Carla scraped her finger over a smudge on Levi's cheek, and Levi felt his skin burned with embarrassment and his eyes watered with pain. Her nail was sharp. "Disgusting," Aunt Sarah flicked invisible dirt off her fingers. She was about to reach for Eren too, but Levi pulled him out of her way, and the look in his eyes stopped her, and her words dangled at mid-sentence. "Your children look like—"

"Don't." Levi said firmly. "Don't talk to my family that way."

"What did you say?"

Levi hastily covered Eren's ears. "You could say whatever you want to me. I can take it. But don't say it to Eren." The word "disgusting" still echoed in his ears, and Aunt Sarah didn't hit him or anything, but her words hurt.

Aunt Sarah didn't say anything with that.

Levi didn't remember much afterwards. He vaguely remembered his mother's arms around him, but not very well because all he could think about was that he couldn't let Eren be hurt either. All he remembered was that he had clung on to Eren and had tried not to cry.

* * *

Sometimes Levi had strange dreams of another world with monsters and blood and deaths that had him blinked awake at the ceiling, eyes wet with tears.

Sometimes Eren would be in those dreams.

* * *

" _There's no telling what will happen if we let him loose."_

" _He'll live," Levi gritted out. "Like a normal person. Like everyone else here." But Levi's words fell on deaf ears. The damage done on humanity after the war was unimaginable, and when the celebrations of victories were over, all that was left was weariness._

" _He's a monster," and Levi turned sharply to Eren, somehow wished that he could block out those words from Eren's ears, even though Eren had heard them so many times. Eren didn't deserve this. He was a war hero. He had fought bravely. He deserved better._

 _Levi thought of the blood stain that will forever remained in his hands, and said, "We're all monsters at this point."_

 _This wasn't the end that he wanted to have._

* * *

There were good times.

Eren waited impatiently for the snow to stop falling, and when it did, Carla didn't have enough time to stop him before he sprang out the front door with only a sweater and a knit cap that threatened to slip off his head. Levi was faster than his mother because it only took him a few minutes to get dressed, and then he ran after Eren like always, his old winter jacket and scarf in tow because Eren had grown out of his own jacket.

"Eren!" Levi called out, and Eren, the little brat, had tackled Levi into the snow, and Levi landed on his back with a _whump._

"I got you!" Eren said proudly, perching on top of Levi.

"You got me," Levi agreed. "Now put your jacket and scarf on."

Eren slipped the old jacket over his shoulder, and Levi helped him buttoned it up. Eren had a bad habit of missing a button, but Levi wondered if he did it on purpose just so Levi would help him because Carla said that Eren had always buttoned up correctly when she was around.

When Levi handed him the scarf, Eren shook his head. "Don't want it. Levi, you put it on."

"I don't need it," said Levi.

"If you don't have a scarf, I won't put one on either," Eren said stubbornly, puffing his cheeks in what he thought was a menacing expression, but Levi had to bite the inside of his lips to prevent himself from giggling.

Eren was adorable. Levi poked his cheek.

"Put it on!"

"No!"

Levi sighed. "If you don't put it on, we both have to go inside the house!"

"We can share the scarf!" Eren looked excited at his own brilliant idea.

"No, it's too small," said Levi.

"We could buy one big enough for you two to share," Carla said, picking Eren up and into her arms. "It'll be a nice early Christmas treat."

Eren cheered, but Levi had always been the more practical one. "Eren and I won't be together all the time. If you buy a scarf that big then we won't be able to use it."

"It's fine. I could undo the scarf and knit two matching ones for both of you," Carla bounced Eren on her hip, and he grinned, all cheerful without a care for the world. "Besides, that would make a cute Christmas card picture for your grandparents, and I think it would be fun to go out today, don't you?"

"I guess."

"I want to share a scarf with Levi!"

Levi had taken one look at Eren's pout and knew that it was a lost battle.

"It's alright," Carla said gently, trying to console Levi, probably because she could read his thoughts. Mothers were psychic like that. "We don't have a lot, and we can't do a lot, but we should indulge in the things we can do, even if it's small."

"Only because Eren wants to," Levi said stubbornly. It wasn't like he had wanted to share the scarf as well because it was a childish idea.

Carla held back a laugh at Levi's expression.

Carla drove them to the big city, and it was really pretty.

Christmas decorations were out since the beginning of December, but now there was snow everywhere, so it was even better, bright red and green lights twinkling along the windows and doors of shops while the streets were covered in a carpet of white.

Levi clutched Eren's hand tightly because the side walk was slippery, but Eren was curious and excited and ended up dragging Levi from window to window, their gloved hands pressed against the glass as they watched with bright eyes a toy train, beautifully painted green and never been touched by a child's hand, as it went up and down the track, passing minuscule people and houses and trees.

Then there was a candy shop, and Levi and Eren could only watch in adoration and jealousy at the colorful candy canes and taffy and fudge bars, and then there were children in bright, new coats exiting the store, holding giant lollipops and a bright pink bag of treats with the store's logo printed proudly.

Levi's favorite thing, however, was a blue bike displayed back at the toy store, but he remembered to take one good glance at it so that the memory would stay in his mind, but not long enough for him to feel regret that he didn't ask his mother for it. He didn't want to hear things like _"when your father comes back, we'll be better off"_ because it would hurt more when that didn't come true.

Eren's favorite thing was probably the department store because there were so many things in it, and Levi had to admit it would have been his favorite had it not been for the bike.

They picked out a big red scarf that wasn't as soft as some of the others, but it was thick and warm and comfortable enough, and Levi had wrapped it around himself and Eren just as Eren had wanted. The scarf was big and it covered all of Eren's face and his shoulders, but Eren didn't seem to mind as he walked by Levi's side, his small hand in Levi's. People passed by and smiled at them and said that they were the cutest thing ever, and Carla had wanted to take a Christmas picture, so they went to the giant Christmas tree in the middle of the store where Santa was.

"You have to tell Santa what you want for Christmas," Carla explained before the boys lined up with the other children. "I'll take your picture."

Levi, of course, was old enough to know that it was all a hoax, but Eren was young and had asked with astonishment, "Will I really get it if I ask?"

"He'll try his best," Carla answered generously.

"In that case, I want to stay with Levi forever!"

Levi choked. "You can't ask that!"

"Why not?" Eren frowned. "Mom said I could ask for whatever I want."

"Yeah, but it'll be a waste to ask for that," Levi rewrapped the scarf around them both. It had gotten them more curious stares from the children waiting in line, but he didn't mind. "I could give that to you. You should ask for something else."

"Do you really mean it?"

"Of course."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Eren leaned against him, a warm presence by his side, and the weight of the promise hang heavily between them like the scarf that tied them together.

Levi's brother complex was definitely getting worse. Especially when Carla kept her words and undid the giant scarf to make two matching ones for them, Levi felt as happy as Eren when he showed off his new scarf.

Levi learned later in life that it was really hard to keep a promise.

* * *

Even though Levi had vowed to protect Eren, Eren had been protecting Levi all along, in his own way.

* * *

" _I want to keep staying in the Survey Corp," Eren said, stopping his horse, eyes looking out into the distant valley stretching out before them, the sunset washing over the hills gently._

" _Why? There's no need for you to fight Titans any longer. It's over." Levi stopped his horse next to Eren's._

" _I want to see the sea," Eren chuckled, glancing nervously at Levi, as if he was afraid of Levi's rejection. "I want to keep traveling with you. I want to see all these new lands together," he added hastily at the end. "With everyone too, of course."_

" _We've have to work to uncover new lands for settlement," Levi said. "What? Were you planning to play around and get fat like those damn lazy asses inside Wall Sina?"_

" _No sir!" Eren said with a grin, probably understanding Levi's acceptance, no matter how indirect it was._

 _But when they returned to civilization after the war, people did not welcome Eren as Levi thought they would._

* * *

Spring came, and with spring, came Grisha's awakening.

Levi had come home from school one afternoon to see Grisha out of his chair for once, clean shaven, sitting crossed leg on the floor next to Eren, who was reading one of the books that Levi borrowed from the library for him. They glanced up at Levi when he walked in, and Eren had immediately dropped the book onto the floor and ran to give Levi a hug.

"Levi!" Eren mumbled into his shirt, and Levi's hands automatically wrapped around his little brother, a complicated feeling rising in his chest.

"Welcome home," Grisha said. Levi had almost forgotten the sound of his father's voice.

"Dad's back!" Eren cried with delight.

Levi stared at Grisha, frozen where he was. "You can't do it to us again."

"I know," Grisha said grimly.

"You can't leave again." Levi could hear his voice beginning to crack, even though he was trying to be strong through this. He didn't want to break now, but his father was back, finally back, and it was as if the world had patted him in the back, telling him that it was okay to cry now, that it was okay to show how upset he was over his father's break down because he had been holding back so long for Eren's sake, for his mother's sake.

Eren, probably sensing that Levi was about to fall apart, had tightened his grip around his brother. "It's okay, Levi."

Grisha walked to Levi and pulled both Levi and Eren into his embrace. Levi cracked, collapsing onto his knees and crying into his father's shoulder. Eren reached for his hand.

It was really his father, the same scent that Levi recognized the summer he turned five, when his father had hoisted him on his shoulder to reach for the apples in their yard, bright red with a few strokes of golden yellow, and it was the same scent when father had balanced both Levi and a baby Eren on his lap while they travelled through the mystical land of a fantasy novel, giant trees and wide valleys and winding rivers spanning through Levi's imagination, and it was the same scent as father held his hand and he held Eren's and Eren held mother's as they walked down the street, happy because they were all together.

"I'm back," Grisha patted Levi's back as he cried. "It'll be okay."

Eren didn't let go of his hand the whole time.

* * *

 _In a way, the Survey Corp was all that Levi had. Levi had asked Eren how it felt to have a real family, and Eren didn't have an answer for him. Even when Eren's parents were gone, Eren had always had Mikasa and Armin by his side._

" _You still have me," Eren said, half joking, half serious._

" _Good" was all that Levi had said. "I won't forgive you if you dare leave my side."_

* * *

Summer came with brighter sun and with their parents, brighter spirit. The Jaegers decided to leave their town once and for all and moved to another city, where Grisha had found a job, and Carla will do the same once they had settled. They rented a truck to move everything they had to their new place; Grisha and the boys were in the truck, while Carla drove behind them in the family car, crammed with their smaller belongings.

"Levi, look!" They were going through a bridge, and Eren tugged at Levi's shirt sleeve, pointing to the winding river before them. "So pretty."

"Yeah," Levi agreed, feeling a sense of nostalgia washed over him as he watched the river ran into the distance.

"Does it go on forever?" Eren asked.

"No," Levi replied, trying to remember hazy details of a map. "It probably leads to the sea."

"The sea?" Eren's eyes brightened at that. "Really?"

"Yeah, that's where this river ends," Levi said, the sense of nostalgia became stronger now, and Levi thought that for a moment, he was looking at a different Eren, a grown up one that had seen much more horror than Levi wanted him to. There was a distant memory slipping away from his grasp, and when Levi blinked, it was gone, and Eren, small and only five years old, looked up at him worriedly.

"Sorry," Levi rubbed his temple. "I'm okay."

"Okay," Eren mumbled. Then, "Let's go to see the sea together someday!"

"Yeah, let's go someday," Levi said. They had this conversation before, Levi had felt, but he couldn't remember when. The more he thought about it, the more melancholic he felt. He could sense that it was an important memory, but it was a sad one, and suddenly he didn't want to remember anymore.

* * *

 _"Captain, what's at the end of this river?"_

" _Probably the sea," Levi said. If he could trust an outdated map from when the humans first sailed to this land, that was._

" _I want to see it," Eren said wistfully. "I heard that it was like a giant basin of salt water, only there is so much salt that all the humans in the world couldn't use it all up. Did you know that most of the world is made of salt water and not land?"_

 _Levi followed Eren closely behind on horseback, words sticking heavily in his throat. The court scene kept replaying in his mind over and over again, and he couldn't let it go._

" _Corporal," Eren startled Levi from his thoughts. "It's okay, really."_

" _It's not."Eren didn't deserve this. The shackles around Eren's wrists looked heavy._

" _Let's go downriver," Eren said, and Levi couldn't see his face right now, but he thought the despair within Eren was probably greater than his own. Maybe Eren had already accepted his fate, and that made Levi angrier than anything else. "I really want to see the sea at the river's end with you one last time."_

* * *

The new apartment was bigger, but Levi and Eren still shared a room.

The first night there, Eren scrambled off his bed and slipped into Levi's bed. Levi sighed, but didn't dislike it. Eren rested against Levi's chest like he had always done, and they slept, clutching at each other until morning, when Carla woke them up.

She had taken a picture, and up to this day, it was one of the few pictures from Levi's childhood that he still kept.

Levi started at the new school.

It was strange because all the kids already knew each other beforehand, and Levi was a newcomer, but Levi wasn't too afraid. It was a nice school, much nicer than the one that he had attended back at his old hometown, and the people were much friendlier with his awkwardness than the people back there.

Levi started making friends because he joined the children every day when they gathered to play baseball during lunch break. He had impressed them all with his powerful swings even if they were less than impressed with his height. He met Erwin Smith, who was friendly and blond and all smiles and was in the local baseball youth group, and Levi could tell that they were going to be fast friends.

Carla found a job as a receptionist at an office.

Kindergarten at the new city was free, so Eren went to school for the first time.

A year passed by peacefully. Levi stopped having strange dreams that year. He wasn't sure if it was because of the new found peace or if it was because Eren had slipped into his bed every night.


End file.
